About Counselling
Here's a few thoughts on what you may experience in counselling with me...
Working alongside you....
Counselling is a safe space where you can explore your life and difficult issues or feelings of any kind. I aim to provide a safe, warm, accepting, supportive therapeutic relationship and space in which issues can be processed and explored, awareness increased and, where appropriate, options for change identified.
I believe you are the expert of your own life. To that end, I do not believe my role as a counsellor is to offer you advice or tell you what to do. This can be challenging as well as comforting to hear. If life seems difficult and you don’t know what to do you may want an ‘expert’ to tell you what to do. However, working alongside a skilled counsellor you can come to decisions that feel authentically right for you, develop greater trust in your own self and go forward from a more grounded place which will serve you better in your daily life.
How Long Will it Take?
Counselling is not an instantaneous ‘fix’. It would be wonderful to be able to wave a magic wand and ‘everything could be better’. But it usually takes time and patience. Sometimes clients have just needed one or two sessions to talk out loud to a neutral third party (me), e.g. to identify a plan of action or process something. For others 6-12 sessions are enough. And others may choose to be in counselling for longer.
I am experienced in both brief and longer-term therapy and happy working either way. I don’t feel you ‘should’ be in counselling for a certain time – sometimes you just want a help through a certain ‘blip’ in your life or to get started with some changes, at other times things feel more deep-rooted and you need need longer-term support. You may choose to work with me for a number of sessions, end that piece of work, and come back at a later date, or not at all. It’s your choice how much you explore and when you feel ready to end counselling.
What Counselling Approach Do You Use?
Many people come into counselling not knowing anything about counselling and the different approaches available, and that's ok. For others, knowing the approach a counsellor uses is key. If that's you, please read on...
I am trained in the dialogue between Person-centred and Psychodynamic. For definitions of these and other types of therapy see BACP's site. The Person-centred side of my work, which is at the core of what I offer, is what's described in my earlier answers. The Psychodynamic side may, for example, be more active should you choose to look at earlier relationships - if, or where, the past feels 'alive' in the present, if strong feelings come up in our counselling relationship, or in exploring couple relationships/dynamics.
Online Counselling
Online/video counselling can be a great option for a variety of reasons - it saves you time and money travelling to a session, you're usually at home after your session so can look after yourself however you choose, you may have difficulty getting to in-person appointments for many reasons (e.g. social anxiety, disability, mobility), and you can pick a counsellor at the other end of the country if you want - so you can pick the right person for you!
Zoom (video counselling application) uses your camera on your phone or computer/laptop and surprisingly for many, can feel very similar to traditional counselling in a room - other than you will have to supply your own comfy seat, quiet space where you won't be overheard, tissues and water/cup of tea! For some people it's slightly easier to open up to their counsellor when they're not physically in the same room as them and you have your own comforts around you. I know walking into a communal waiting area or getting on a bus after a harder session isn't always easy.
I will need an email address for you to send the Zoom link to before the session and I will ask if it's ok to send any resources to this address to too. If you have any questions or concerns about this way of working please feel free to ask.
Walk and Talk Therapy
More information on Walk & Talk sessions to follow here but please get in touch if interested.
I currently mainly use a route near Cockenzie/Seton Sands in East Lothian or from Dirleton Green, but am happy to consider other East Lothian locations - ideally quiet with wide enough paths for us to walk easily side-by-side.
Walk & Talk sessions are good if, like me, you like being outdoors/in nature, feel more comfortable talking while walking alongside someone, rather than opposite (which can feel a bit intense for some people). Or you already spend too much time indoors/on the computer with your job and you'd appreciate the fresh air and extra exercise/up your 'step count'? We walk at your pace, we can stop at benches if you like to pause and reflect, we can try and ignore the elements/nature or incorporate them into the therapy as you like. Being in nature and moving while talking can really help us get 'unstuck' in surprising ways and bring in blue and green spaces have been shown to be therapeutic in themselves.
Despite being in Scotland (!) sessions run during daylight hours in all weathers - the exception being lightning and heavy snow. I am happy to switch to online for a session if the weather feels inconducive to a good therapy experience though. With that in mind, good non-slippy walking shoes, layers including possibly a waterproof one may be required. But sometimes you need sun-cream!